You might be in an abusive relationship if…
Your partner dictates what kind of peanut butter you eat
Your partner tells you how to do your hair and nails for your wedding
Your partner requests you wear a certain outfit for a date
Your partner requests you get a certain swimsuit to wear just for him
Your partner has specific requirements for your wedding dress
Your partner proposes without a ring because he says he wants you to pick it out. But when taken to the jewelry shop, he tells you which one to get and starts to get angry if you don’t do what he says.
Your partner talks bad of you to others causing them to treat you badly
Your partner shares your arguments with others outside of the relationship without your permission, in order to gain support for his way of thinking and make you look like a fool to them, and has those others come and talk to you about why you’re wrong
Your partner minimizes your feelings
Your partner lies regularly to you and others around you about you
Your partner spends money however he wishes, but denies you any spending freedom
Your partner constantly argues with you or puts you down
You find yourself isolated from family or friends and you’re not sure why
Your boundaries aren’t respected or are completely ignored
Your partner threatens divorce for something as simple as you mowing the lawn, or uses it as a way to control you
Your partner doesn’t allow you to upset or disagree with his family, but he allows his family to upset you without limits
Your partner constantly chooses his family over you, or anyone over you
Your partner doesn’t allow you to call 911 when you feel unsafe, even from outside gunshots or imminent threats
****All of the above examples could mean you’re in an abusive relationship, but they might not. What makes a relationship abusive is that the abuse increases with severity and frequency over time.
RESOURCES ON ABUSE
Enough is Enough by David E Clark
The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans
Don’t Let Their Crazy Make You Crazy by Laurel Slade Wagoner
Podcasts by David E Clark or Laurel Slade Wagoner
Photo credit: Alex Green
